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“We can have that fight for a 1,000 years, but we could have a shot at figuring out what we both need and noticing when there’s opportunities to make that happen.”
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Up next, Conflict, crisis, consumption: What’s eating our nation? Amanda Ripley: Full Interview ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE_MEu7xn8Y
Conflict can be constructive, inspiring learning, growth, and vulnerability when well-managed. But when it spirals into what Amanda Ripley calls high conflict, it becomes corrosive.
Instead of solving problems, high conflict traps us in a cycle where arguments feed on themselves, eroding trust and entire relationships. So, why are we so susceptible to it? Ripley explains, sharing our psychological tripwires and how to avoid them.
0:00 The paradox of high conflict
0:30 Breaking the cycle
2:50 How to get to the understory
5:00 High conflict is a tar pit
6:30 The idiot driver reflex (why we don’t give people benefit of the doubt)
7:50 Fear leads to a desire for simplicity
8:20 The saturation point
10:50 Good, healthy conflict
11:15 Looping (how to prove you are listening)
14:00 The most common understories
17:30 Practice under stress
20:00 How to keep conflict healthy
21:00 The magic ratio of positive interactions to conflict
21:55 Who high conflict benefits
22:55 There’s no winning a marriage
Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/the-big-think-interview/high-conflict-ripley/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description
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About Amanda Ripley:
Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, Washington Post contributor, and co-founder of consultancy firm, Good Conflict. Her books include The Smartest Kids in the World, High Conflict, and The Unthinkable.
